Just a personal rant

It just seems All of my friends are pushing me away, it just seems they don’t want to be associated with me and yet I try so hard to be in their lives. Everytime I try and talk to people they just seem like I’m too weird or unwelcomed. I guess alcohol and weed are more important than friendships.
I’m tired of sitting in my house not knowing what I want to do in life, unsure with school and how the hell I’m going to face life. All I can say now is I just don’t know. I dont even know how to be myself anymore because i’m just not good enough for the world. I’m never anyone’s first choice to get to know or talk to or anything. Everything i fucking do is judged and criticized and I can’t deal with it at all. I feel like all I am is a mistake and I have nothing to offer. I just don’t know what to do or say anymore. I just don’t know at all.

My job

Pisses me off more than anything.

It would be cool

To meet a nice guy, it’s so weird how I haven’t talked to any guys in almost a year. I’m just repellent